What if I choose the wrong decision?

What if everything go out of control?

What if I am not able to resolve it?

Sometimes we get worried too much.

Other times, we also get over optimistic, unconsciously forgetting all the fear we had before.

But isn’t it normal to keep having worries?


Out of nowhere, we are put here on earth. Alive.

We meet people, we say hello

We go to another directions, and we say goodbye

In my opinion, from this worldly point of view, there are two kinds of farewells: temporary farewell and permanent farewell. Temporary farewell is a separation between two or more people in a countable measure of distance. Thus, we are pretty sure that there is a chance to see each other again after a temporary farewell. Otherwise, when a permanent farewell happens, we do not recognize any chance to see each other anymore because the separation is not in a countable measure of distance. The only permanent farewell in this world, is death.

Separation by death is a scary yet beautiful farewell. We have no idea where and in what condition those who passed away exactly are, yet we still live with memories of them. Then we will try really hard to be able to see them again. We try really hard, although we can’t touch them. But still, we can feel them, in our hearts. Suddenly we start to realize and develop a belief that they still exists, but we cannot explain where exactly they are.

We discover the uncountable measure of distance. This is what makes it painful to be separated by death. To us as humans, the distance between where we are and those who had passed away, is uncountable and undefined. But we should always remember, that to Allah, everything is defined.

Allahumaghfirlahu warhamu wa’afihi wa’fu’anhu. I miss you so much Grandpa, till we meet again in the next phase: the eternal life. Aamiin.

Well Planned

Our existence in this world had been very well planned. From the very beginning, we live in a woman’s womb as a tiny creature. We got all the nutrition and protection needed to grow as a baby. Then, a woman gave birth to us, and suddenly we are delivered to this earth.

Then, were were taken care and raised by a man and a woman whom we became to know as our parents: mom and dad. Weren’t they strangers to us before we were delivered to earth? We never choose to be raised by them. But they become the most loving and caring people we know since we were born.

Being in this age as an adult, I started to think a lot about the reason I exist in this world. The more I think about it, the more I realize that everything happened in this life is incredibly well planned.

هُوَ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن تُرَابٍ ثُمَّ مِن نُّطْفَةٍ ثُمَّ مِنْ عَلَقَةٍ ثُمَّ يُخْرِجُكُمْ طِفْلًا ثُمَّ لِتَبْلُغُوٓا۟ أَشُدَّكُمْ ثُمَّ لِتَكُونُوا۟ شُيُوخًا ۚ وَمِنكُم مَّن يُتَوَفَّىٰ مِن قَبْلُ ۖ وَلِتَبْلُغُوٓا۟ أَجَلًا مُّسَمًّى وَلَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ

He it is Who created you from dust, then from a small life germ, then from a clot, then He brings you forth as a child, then that you may attain your maturity, then that you may be old– and of you there are some who are caused to die before– and that you may reach an appointed term, and that you may understand. (QS. 40:67)

Being Left Behind

This morning I came late to work. I didn’t catch the commuterline train, and I had to wait another half hour until the next train came. When this kind of situation happens, I feel so bad to miss the train. I start to blame myself for not going out early, for not being prepared with my own e-money ticket, and for not running when the train was about to come. Lots of negative thoughts cross in and out of my head. I feel..failed. I feel like I am left behind.

Well, after all, why am I supposed to be upset when I didn’t catch the train? It is just a train, isn’t it? And why should I be such in a hurry to catch a train?

Having a chance to be left behind is a blessing. It makes me understand how much ability we are given. Not everyone are able to walk, to jump into the bus, to step upon the stairs and to run into a train. It is all given to us, and we are responsible to use that in a good way. Alhamdulillah.

About Social Media

Lately I’ve been thinking about the time I spent with my social media accounts: facebook and path. I concluded that I’ve wasted too much time reading news feed appearing on my home page. Back to the time I first created a facebook account, it was so interesting to see my friends posts. It felt good hearing about my old friends, knowing their activities and seeing who they have become. Later I installed path, and it was much more interesting because I had a smaller circle of friends. My life seemed much better back then. But things changed.

Now I realized that actually I don’t really need to know that much information. Yes it is good to be updated with your family and friends. But suddenly it all just feels so fake. I thought that I had a good social life with those social media accounts, but the truth is I was just facing a screen. Just a small monitor that is actually not healthy to face all day long. I started to question myself: “Do I really need to know what he/she is doing?”, “Do I really need others to know what I am doing?”, “Why am I doing these?”, “What is the benefit for me?”.

There is a bigger world out there. Life is more than just scrolling the timeline all day long. I would like to stop myself from watching others life. I also don’t need everyone to know about my life. It is not always necessary for them to know mine. So now, I’m trying to be more focused on my own real life. I believe it will be healthier for me.

I’m deleting my facebook and path account, for good. There are much more ways to connect and communicate. At least I still have my e-mail and phone with me, which is more than enough.

Where then are you going?

Ever wondered about your destination of life? I do, a lot. I see this world as a place where we continuously drag ourselves closer to our destinations. We have freedom to choose where to go. When the specified time has come, we have no more opportunity to set that destination.

So these questions keep popping out in my head: “Where am I going?”, “Am I going on the right track?”, “Am I going to be satisfied when I reach my destination? Just so, I found an incredible answer:

فَأَيْنَ تَذْهَبُونَ
Where then are you going?
إِنْ هُوَ إِلَّا ذِكْرٌ لِلْعَالَمِينَ
This is but a Message to all the people of the world
لِمَنْ شَاءَ مِنْكُمْ أَنْ يَسْتَقِيمَ
to each one who wishes to follow the Right Way.
وَمَا تَشَاءُونَ إِلَّا أَنْ يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ رَبُّ الْعَالَمِينَ
Yet your wishes are of no avail unless Allah, the Rabb of the worlds, pleases so. (QS. At-Takwir 26-29)
Where then am I going?

Would You (not) Think?

Almost entering my “quarter-life”, I realized that I need to decide the path where I will go through. I know that life is short, yet I don’t know how much longer my life in this world will be. I started to think and contemplate about the purpose of this life given to me. I feel so worried about what will happen after my time in this world is over. I need to hold on to the right guidance of life that will get me succeeding in this world and after. I don’t want to get lost in this worldly life that I could fail in the end.

There must be a reason why we -human beings- were created. The sky, the earth, and everything in between must have been created for a reason. We, humans, do not have the ability to create the sky, the earth, or anything similar to them. We cannot even create any living creature like human being. Yes, we might be able to create robots, but we can see the huge difference between robots and humans. Humans have heart, eyes, and ears which is connected each other. With those, we have the ability to see, to hear, and to feel.

At that point I realized that I don’t belong to myself. My ability to sense, to feel, to move, and to do anything is not mine. I have no power to create anything that I am able to do right now. There must be The Creator (Al Khaliq) who gave me the ability to live in this world. I am nothing without Him. Yes, nothing.

The Drama of being a Student and an Employee at Once

To me, being a student and an employee at once was not easy. I went through those up and down ‘drama’ along the journey. I needed to go a distance of 30-something kilometers after office from Serpong to get into my class in Salemba. I had to sacrifice my weekends to be spent on discussing school assignments. I also had to manage my income to be able to pay for school tuition. Often, I finish my school assignments at office, and vice versa.

Those crazy business of school and work affected my physical and mental health. During the last semester of my study, I took several days off from office. Some of the days I got sick. Some other days, I had to be in the campus at office hours discussing my thesis progress. I felt so tired back then, but at the same time I really wanted to finish graduate school in a shortest-time-possible. I didn’t want to extend my period of study, because it means I would have to pay another tuition fee, plus I had to go through another semester of school and work. I have had enough of those ‘drama’ and I needed to graduate as soon as possible.

Then, the ‘magic’ happens…

Everything happened so quickly I couldn’t believe that finally I made it through. Last February, I had my master graduation ceremony. I was so happy and grateful that my wish came true. I made my parents and my family proud of me. It was all priceless. Alhamdulillah.

When I reflect and contemplate about this accomplishment. I realized that finishing graduate study while working full day seemed very impossible to me. Who knew I could made it through? I realized that something bigger than me is watching me, opening the doors of opportunity, offering help for me through good people around me, and filling my heart with courage and hope. I know I could’t have done this alone. Who am I to be able to finish this alone?

I know its You, Allah. Alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks be to You, o Allah.

Looking at where I am now

It’s been more than a year since I wrote post on this blog. Where have I been actually? It seemed like I was busy with myself and my new world. Many things changed since I decided to work in a company. I had new place, new friends, and new responsibility. And fortunately, I enjoyed my activity at work, where I see things practically. I learned that in the real world, sometimes we don’t use the theories told in the classroom, but we just need to make things work as customers want it to. Also, the important thing is not how smart you are, but how you are able to work together and learn from each other. At work, I got involved in a real IT project, where I face real users, and see how I could help their work through IT. Those priceless experience might be impossible for me to have if I were not working in a company like where I am now.

And guess what? Now I found myself being a student again. Well yes, I am now a graduate student, and an employee at the same time! Who knew I could get here? So at 8am-5pm I go to work, then at 7pm-10pm I go to school.

Being a student, especially in a field which is so related to my work at the office, helps me understand what I am really doing at work. I can relate what happened at work to the case studies and theories brought by the lecturers in class.

Such a beautiful plan made by Allah. Never thought I could experience this two roles at once.  Alhamdulillah.

Three Wishes

I wish to be a pious (shalihah) daughter whose du’a benefits my parents, spend my lifetime to study and share knowledge, and make barakah earnings. Amin.

Abu Hurayrah, rahimahullah, reported that Allah’s Messenger, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “When a human being dies, all of his deeds are terminated except for three types: an ongoing sadaqah, a knowledge from which others benefit, and a righteous child who makes du’a for him.” [Hadith Muslim and others]

I’m graduated. What’s next?

Since I am officially graduated from Fasilkom UI, I am not a student anymore. Things changed so fast. No more classes, assignments, student organizational activities, and most importantly no more thesis work. I was a little bit shocked, for a moment I just couldn’t believe that this is happening so fast. I didn’t know what I have to do just after graduating. Too many options to do ahead, whether to continue study, get a job, become an entrepreneur, and so on.

However, this is what I always imagined since I just started my study as a freshmen in Fasilkom UI. During my study, while having classes, doing assignments, getting involved in student activities, and doing thesis work, I always wondered when will I get through this “jungle”. I just couldn’t wait for those days to come: the thesis defense day and the graduation day. And fortunately now I have gone through those days. Happily and Blessed. And I have to be grateful for finally being graduated from Fasilkom UI as a Bachelor of Computer Science. Alhamdulillah..

Back to the topic. So now I have decided to get a job after graduation. Why? Well, actually I really wanted to continue my study to the Master degree right away. Yes, I really do. I have made some efforts to make it happen, but back then I found out that I am not ready enough to go there yet. After days of contemplating and thinking it over, I think it is not a bad idea to go for a job now. I need to get my skills applied in the real world. I can get so much lessons to learn by working in an office. Learning about work ethics, being a good team player, leadership, and responsibility in the real business world will be a great advantage to me, which I didn’t get in the classrooms. So, whenever the time to continue my study comes, I will be ready with enough of work experience. Insha Allah.

My 2nd Blood Donation: Getting addicted?

just another blood donation

Alhamdulillah, finally I got my second chance to donate my blood. Last Thursday, in Fasilkom, a charity event organized by Pengmas BEM Fasilkom was held. The event name is “Dora” alias “Donor Darah” (blood donation). There were not only blood donation, but also health check such as cholesterol and blood glucose test, for free.

Okay, so recalling that my earlier experience for donating blood was so dramatic (like I wrote here), actually I wasn’t really sure that I would be brave enough to go through the donating process. But I just thought that this might be my last chance to donate blood as an undergraduate student. And, fortunately, I was feeling healthy and fine enough to get my blood donated at that time. So, I just did it!

Overall, I was fine during the donating process and after. Though there were some trouble with my left arm, which were not letting my blood flow out. So I had to gave the other arm to be stabbed. But that was ok, and I tried to stay cool. The donation process took about 30 minutes. After that, I got some snacks from the red cross team. I felt a little bit dizzy, so I didn’t immediately leave the room, and took some rest and snacks for a while. Until the day after I also felt extremely thirsty almost all day. So I had to drink extra water. They said it’s fine, because our body need to maintain the blood viscosity.

Several days later, I felt that I was getting healthier. Not to mention, I also feel happier. I don’t know, but I just feel the sensation of getting healthier and happier is exciting. I really love that feeling, to know that the donated blood is worth a life of another human. I feel indescribably honored if I can get a chance to do that. By donating blood, we also learn to be grateful for our health.

So, in short, I really want to donate my blood again. Really really really want to. Well, maybe it’s not too much to say that I’m starting to get addicted to blood donation. Especially to the peace feeling after doing it. So I wish I will get another opportunity to do it again soon, insyaAllah.

blood donation is cool and it makes you happy!

What I got from ‘mapres’ competition

Today I have finished my ‘mapres’ competition. Mapres (mahasiswa berprestasi or in English ‘high achieving student’) is an annual competition in the faculty. The first winner from the faculty will then compete with another faculty winner to decide the university winner. Then the national champion is chosen from the competition among the university winners throughout Indonesia.

By the way, I didn’t made my way to the big 6 in the faculty. So, I finished my competition here. Though, I got so many precious lessons from this competition. And also, I got these cute souvenirs, including an 8 GB flash disk, too! 😀

cute, isn't it? 😀

At last, I’d like to point out that there is nothing to lose by joining these sort of competition.

I also want to give my best support to my friends: Fira, Dori, Cevi, Ardi, Ardhi, and Faiq. Congratulations for being the big 6, you deserve it, guys!

ps: and it’s now really the time for me to get back to thesis work! good luck to myself 🙂

‘Interludes’ during the thesis work

Time went so fast and I just realized that it’s been almost a month since I nearly made no progress on my thesis.

Oh NO. What’s happening actually? Well, first of all maybe yes, I feel exhausted after doing a lot of recording. And the next distraction, I was busy applying for the RA/TA scholarship and preparing myself to join the ‘mapres’ competition. Not to mention I also had a midterm exam those days. Next, I also participated to be one of the committee of High School National Exam.

Those activities were interesting, actually, even it’s really fun and I enjoyed them very much. But seeing the calendar, and knowing that one of my friend is getting to finish her thesis really soon, suddenly I realized that it’s the time to get back to the thesis work! Okay, so let’s get it done..wish me luck! 😀

The Last Class Before Graduating : Computers & Society :D

Being a senior year student means I don’t have too much classes to take like before. In this final semester of my undergraduate study, I just take 9 credits. It’s 6 credits for the final task aka “Tugas Akhir”, and the rest goes for the Computers and Society class. So, the only class I take now is that Computers and Society class. FYI, this class is specially designed for final year students. I was about to take it last semester, but I was rejected because I hadn’t took enough credits yet.

Now, since Computer & Society is the only class I am taking, I can put more attention to it when I attend the class. I was really excited at the first day of the class, because I know that it will be my last class before I graduate. So, the first rule of the class was, it is conducted in English. Students are encouraged to speak English during the class, although sometimes they may use “Bahasa”. Wow, this impressed me. I feel like being in a English Conversation Course class :D.

In the first 2 weeks, we discussed about Ethics. Talking about ethics is much more complicated than I expected before. The teacher gave some cases, and encouraged us to share our opinion about that case. The cases are like: it ethical to do this and that? what if they had a strong reason behind it? is it permissible or not? what is your ethical standards, etc. We learn how important it is to put ourselves in other people shoes to find out what they feel.

Well, after all the programming and maths classes I’ve got in Fasilkom, Computers & Society class is really a “different & fresh” one. We are encouraged to stay updated with recent IT related issues, analyze it, and decide what to do as an IT professionals regarding to those issue. I think this will be my favorite class in Fasilkom 🙂

A lesson from my carelessness: Lost Your ATM Card? o.O

Well, seems like I’m too careless these days. I lost my ATM card for *biip* times this year (censored) xD. Phew, it’s really kinda something. So I have done some procedures-to-create-new-ATM-card over and over. At the first time I lost my ATM card, I was so panic. But after several times, I learned how to stay cool when I lost it, haha. I just have to do a little this and that, and taraa..I got my new ATM card. B)

So, I’d like to share what you must do when you lost your ATM card.
Continue reading

Welcoming Ramadhan Far Away From Home

Alhamdulillah..so this Ramadhan will be the 4th one since I became a college student and went from my house to live in Depok. I’ve learned several things to prepare for Ramadhan, especially when you are far away from home (like I am now). So here I would like to share some tips:

1. Make some plan and targets. We don’t want our Ramadhan to be just like the ordinary days, right? Prepare and plan for it, you can write on your diary, or any paper, or even in your blog (if you don’t mind). Create some targets you want to reach in this Ramadhan. Creating targets helps you to keep busy on doing good things, and protecting you from wasting your time.

2. Stay healthy. It is very important to prevent from getting sick during Ramadhan. Since you are not home, you have to take care of your meal by your own. The hardest part here is when you want to have sahur. Going outside the housing to find a meal before Fajr is usually being avoided by most students, especially girls. I just found out that some food stall around the neighborhood offers a ‘delivery service’ (with ‘student price’ of course). So you just need to text them, and they will get the sahur meal in front of your door (yay!). If you don’t found those services, you can have bread, or kurma and fresh water for your sahur, just like Rasulullah did. Try not to skip sahur, because it is a sunnah of the Rasulullah. Like it was said in this hadist:

The Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed: “Have a meal before you fast, for sahur is blessed.” (Bukhari and Muslim).

3. Meet good friends. Gather around with friends who can encourage you on reaching your targets, and also keeping you healthy. You can share your targets, or even make Ramadhan targets together. By doing it, you can remind each other to accomplish the Ramadhan targets you’ve made together. You also can have your friend waking you up for sahur time, so you wont miss any sahur meal.

Okay, so those are the Ramadhan things I’d like to share to you. I hope this Ramadhan will be the best one ever. Let’s make it a memorable one. Have a great Ramadhan! May Allah bless us..aamiin! 🙂

And the time goes by…I’m turning 20!

Alhamdulillah…It is just hard to believe that I have experienced life for 20 years.

I want to thank my dearest Mom and Dad, for raising me up with so much love. My mom is really a loving mother. I remember she always take me to the play yard and buy ice cream for me (before I cried xD). Daddy is so amazing and lovely, I remember how he always read me bed time stories before I go to sleep. Daddy is really a great story teller! Also my little sister, for always being my best friend (and enemy, sometimes :P). It is so hard (and scary) to imagine how my life would be if I didn’t have them. Thank you Allah for giving me such a great and loving Mom, Dad, and little sister. I hope You will always love and protect them..aamiin.

Along these 20 years, I met friends, teachers, neighbors, and a lot of people. They made my life really colorful. I met a lot of friends, I learned from them how to be brave, be organized, be happy, be grateful, be proud of myself, and many more. My teachers gave me a lot of knowledge, they also made me learn how to behave, how to respect people, and how to make dreams and reach it. I am so lucky that I am surrounded by these loving, caring, and inspiring people. Perhaps including you who are reading this post xD. So, thank you! 🙂

not going to PIMNAS (again)

Well, it’s just the same thing happened like it was last year. Me and my team are not selected to be a PIMNAS participant. Last year me and my team did a community service program about selective media, but we didn’t go to PIMNAS. This year I tried to start a small business called Star Stir. But also, we didn’t pass the selection to be a participant in PIMNAS.

The different thing is, that now I don’t feel as bad (and dissapointed and sad) as last year. I’ve experienced this failure twice.

Okay, so PIMNAS is not everything, and not going to PIMNAS is not the end of the world, right?

I’d like to appreciate my team for the hard work, and also my friends for their kind support and testimonies. Trust me, this is not the end of Star Stir. I promise, we’ll be back soon! 😀

My 6th semester officially ended!

Yes, officially ended after I had days of exams and submitted my very last task. Maybe I had a ‘terrible’ semester, yes it was. But still, life is going on and on, right? There is still a lot of things to discover out there. Let’s just learn from the past and be sure not falling into the same mistake. yosh!

So, what’s next?

I just can’t believe that I am (almost) a final year student now. 3 years past too fast. If this is last year, or another last year, on the same month, I would already be home now. I would already meet mom, dad, and my sister, and grandma, and grandpa. And I would already visited my high school friends. But unfortunately, I am not a 1st year or a 2nd year, or even a 3rd year student anymore, which can go for holidays (or at least be home) at the time like this. Ouch!

I am having an internship this holiday, as another obligation to students of Fasilkom which has passed the 6th semester. So, what will I do? Actually I am assigned to do QA (Quality Assurance) on 2 Android mobile applications, one of them will be a game (yay!). But besides, I also have to work on prototyping a mobile e-learning application. I am so excited to start this internship, but also curious. Will I get my job done well? I hope so..

Back to the topic. My 6th semester officially ended. I will (hopefully) just have another year to complete my study. Am I ready yet? Even some of my friends are now preparing topics for their thesis. Yes, some of them are planning to finish their study by the 7th semester. Wow, I am so happy for them! But what about me? I still have a lot of things to prepare this year.

So, maybe yes: I will not have a long holiday anymore, like before. But that is the matter of growing up, right? As life goes on, you will get more responsibility. So, just be happy for what you have, and who you are now. Maybe tomorrow you won’t have the same chance, and you can never go back to the past.  Cheers! 🙂

The New UI Central Library : A great place to ‘escape’ :D

welcome to the crystal of knowledge!

It’s Friday! But it’s a tough day for me since today is the deadline of CIS programming task and I haven’t done it yet. And I had to get to campus very very early in the morning. And I got late, and I had to run on the track. So this is really a random terrifying day for me. I don’t even want to remember my face and how I look today. I remember almost everyone I met in the class, or canteen, or sekre who met me said,”you look so exhausted, your face shows that you have a lot of tasks”. Oh excuse me, is my face that bad, or are you saying I have a ‘madesu’ face? Aaa..I really wanted to wear a mask, or to be invisible that day ><.

In the middle of my terrifying-hectic-galaw day, I just remembered that there is a new great place to escape near Fasilkom: The new Central Library! Today is the first operational day of the library. 😀

Read more..


Lagi-lagi aku terjerumus(lebih tepatnya, menjerumuskan diri sendiri) ke dalam kegiatan semacam ini. Kegiatannya adalah PKM-K alias Program Kreativitas Mahasiswa bidang Kewirausahaan. Dalam program ini, aku dan kelompok(Tya, Vira, Eva, dan Arif) ditugaskan untuk melaksanakan sebuah kegiatan kewirausahaan yang sudah di-propose sebelumnya. Nantinya, kegiatan yang sudah dilaksanakan akan dipresentasikan dalam proses Monitoring dan Evaluasi. Selanjutnya kalau hasilnya layak, akan dilanjutkan dengan presentasi di pimnas.

Baca Selanjutnya..


Terkadang mencair, mengalir dan berdesir. Terkadang mengeras, bergemeretak dan membekas. Pernah ku memanas, melepuhkan hingga terkelupas. Tapi sempat juga ku mendingin, membekukan segala saraf. Menjadi kawan dekat, membawa pergi rasa penat. Atau menjadi musuh, menggilas tanpa kenal hormat. Kau harus tahu betul cara memperlakukanku, kalau ingin selamat.

Do you dare?

x: do you dare?
y: I don’t think so, I haven’t prepared yet. I’m afraid I can’t do this. I’m afraid I’ll be laughed at.
x: how long you will still stay like this? just sitting behind the wall and hiding from the crowd?
y: I don’t know. I have to be prepared first. But everytime this challenge comes, I always can’t get myself prepared enough.
x: then just go shoot it, don’t be such a LOSER.
y: but…..*speechless*

10.000-hour rule

Baru separuh aku membaca buku “Outliers”nya Malcolm Gladwell, dan sangat terkesan dengan bab “10.000 hour rule”. Intinya, untuk menjadi ahli dalam hal apapun, seseorang paling tidak harus sudah mempelajari dan mencoba terus selama 10.000 jam. Yah, 10.000 jam itu sekitar 417 hari non-stop lho..belum ditambah waktu tidur, main, dan makan. Kalau saja sehari kita bisa meluangkan waktu 3 jam untuk mempelajari sesuatu. Paling tidak kita butuh 3.333 hari untuk menjadi ahli dalam ilmu itu. Ini berarti sekitar 10 tahun!

moral of the story: you can’t get things instantly!

UAS dan cuaca ekstrim

Setelah melalui ujian Sistem Cerdas yang memusingkan, saya bersama teman-teman: Mega, Diane, plus Siska (yang baru selesai ujian ERP) pulang bersama. Hujan baru saja reda, menyisakan udara lembab dan jalanan becek. Kami baru sampai di pinggir danau ketika tiba-tiba guyuran hujan menerpa kami dengan derasnya. Kami pun berlari-lari ke pos satpam BNI untuk berteduh. Beberapa hari ini memang cuaca sangat ekstrim. Paginya panas, sorenya hujan deras. Sambil menunggu badai reda, kami pun mengisi waktu dengan memotret jalan yang mulai tergenang dengan cepat. Wah, seperti ada sungai baru di dekat balairung, hehe 😆

Baca Selanjutnya


Di suatu masa ketika aku terbangun dari kesunyian yang mencengangkan, aku dikejutkan oleh teriakan – teriakan para penari di hutan itu. Nyanyiannya melenakan, tapi sekaligus membuatku merinding teramat sangat hingga aku tak mampu lagi merasakan kepekaan inderaku. Aku meraung-raung mencari secuil celah untuk berlari dari tempat mengerikan itu. Namun alih-alih menjauh, aku mendapati diriku semakin dekat dengan hutan kelam yang diiringi nyanyian petaka. Tubuhku gemetaran, keringat dingin menghujani sekujur tubuhku. Namun aku tak bisa mengelak. Inilah takdirku.

Dalam waktu yang nyaris secepat kilat aku pun memasuki zona yang membuat bulu kudukku berdiri. Aku tak tahan lagi, aku ingin pergi. Namun kakiku seolah tak lagi tunduk pada perintah otakku. Aku hanya bisa pasrah. Sosok-sosok manusia penghuni wilayah itu mulai tampak jelas di hadapanku. Wajah mereka sangat datar. Mereka adalah manusia dengan wajah paling datar yang pernah kutemui sepanjang umurku. Aku bergidik melihatnya, tapi kusembunyikan dengan senyum, menyimpan harapan mereka akan menyambutku dengan ramah. Namun mereka tak mengacuhkanku sama sekali. Aku seolah-olah tak terlihat oleh mereka. Tanpa memedulikanku, mereka terus menyanyikan lagu kegelapan, yang membuatku serasa tak lagi bernapas.

Aku terkurung di sini. Di hutan belantara yang aku tak tahu menahu tentangnya. Tempat ini membuatku tak bisa tidur berhari-hari. Aku terlunta-lunta di wilayah suram nan mengerikan tanpa manusia waras ini. Tak ada seorangpun yang rela memberikan secuil makanan saja padaku. Mereka semua sibuk dengan nyanyian hitam itu, memenuhi seantero hutan gelap ini dengan irama yang sesuai dengan kemisteriusannya.

Sudah hilang keinginanku untuk hengkang dari tempat jahanam ini. Karena aku tahu, tak akan mungkin bagi seorang manusia tak berdaya seperti aku menyusuri jurang-jurang pemisah hutan ini, di mana serigala raksasa berkeliaran mencari mangsa. Tak mungkin aku mendapati kakiku menuruti perintahku untuk keluar dari sini. Inilah tempatku. Suatu hari nanti aku juga akan menjadi pelantun nada-nada kelam penghias hutan kelabu ini. Mungkin, pekerjaan mengerikan itu akan membuatku serasa melayang ke surga.

Well done, already?

Akhirnya rangkaian kuliah tahun pertama selesai sudah. Alhamdulillaah, banyak sekali pelajaran yang saya dapatkan. Mungkin memang saya belum maksimal dalam menjalani kehidupan di kampus ini. Banyak rahasia yang belum saya ungkap di sini. Bagi saya, semua ini masih tetap sebuah misteri.

Is it done, already? I guess no, and it will never end.